Wait for it, Vader is in there too.

helpful hints

A few friendly tidbits of advice:

1.  Do not put a Cadbury Cream Egg in the microwave on full power for one minute and then smother the accidentally rapidly solidifying molten-cement-like sugary contents with frozen ice cream: You will permanently ruin your grandmother's dessert dish and also a spoon.

2.  Do not let Jennell use the microwave.  Ever.

duh, it's a lizard!

I wanted to tell you all about my little lizard pal.

There is a little lizard who lives outside my bedroom window here in Florida.  He is a cute little guy.  Kind of brownish with some spots.  I would take a picture of him for you if I had a working phone and/or camera.  He visits me everyday, and it makes me happy.  He sits around on the hurricane shutter for a little while, then I will hear a semi-loud bang/plop sort of noise, and it means that he has jumped onto the window.  Then he sits around on the glass of the window with his suctiony little lizard feet for a bit: sometimes he walks around on the glass, a bit backwards, a bit forwards, then a bit backwards again.  Doing a sophisticated and mysterious little lizard dance. 

I see him for a little bit almost every day.  He hangs around for a while, then he leaves.  Off to go do exciting lizardy things that little lizards do I suppose.  It fills my little heart with a speck of joy when he comes around, though.  I'm not sure why I love him so, but I do.

There are lots of lizards around here.  There are a couple who live out by the pool, and many who I see elsewhere.  Some are greenish, brownish, some very bright, some very dark, some medium sized, some teeny tiny.  It has made me very much want to someday have a lizard to call my very own.  Not a very big one or anything.  Just a nice little guy to keep in a happy little aquarium with his heat lamp and ferns, and I will feed him the things you are supposed to feed to lizards, and we will watch movies together in my imaginary living room in my imaginary house.  We will be so very happy together, my lizard and I.

Everytime I see a lizard around here it reminds me of a silly story my sister told me that occurred when she was working at a pet store.  She was overhearing a coworker who was helping a customer.  The customer was asking a few questions about some of the reptiles and things.  Said customer then asked what a given animal was while pointing to the cage containing, I forget, I think a chameleon or a gecko or something along those lines.  The coworker then replied, very seriously, in a very valley-girl-esque voice, "Duh, it's a lizarrd!!"  That is one of my favorite stories. 

I wish I could walk vertically on windows and walls and things like my little lizard friend does; that would be excellent.  I admire his little lizardy ways.  Perhaps he and I are similar in some ways.  We both need to draw our heat from the sun as we seem to fail to be able to produce our own body heat.  I often am only warm if I am outside in the Florida heat or under direct sunlight abosrbing the rays and heat through my skin.  At church, for example, I go outside in between classes, out of the over-air-conditioned building, and take my shoes off to stand on the cement and/or black top so my feet can finally warm up slightly and my limbs can have feeling again brought back by the rays of the sun.  Then I can go back inside and get through another hour of air conditioning.  (Not that air conditioning is bad, mind you.  I am not against it; I realize its importance to most people. I am just freakish and constantly cold.)  Much like my lizard friend basks in the sunlight to heat his core so he can get through the rest of the day.  Unlike my lizard friend though, I do not eat bugs.  He can eat them, though; the more the merrier.  The world needs happy bug-eating little lizards.  I am happy with them in the world.  They make me feel happy and slightly less freakish.  I look in the mirror, and I look out my window at my lizard pal, and we can relate to each other somehow.

And everytime I see a lizard, that is what I say in my head...

"Duh, it's a lizarrd!!"


.

Richard: As a man, I can guarantee this is what every adult male is thinking when he is chopping vegetables.

This made me laugh so hard....

This webcomic pretty much is gospel truth. Who hasn't done this at some point? Jei, did you play pokemon games at all growing up? Because if you did you should read this webcomic in its entirety. 

Awkward Zombie

Richard: Yeah, usually I check the news on Google; that's how I knew about Charlie Sheen.

Serena: Charlie Sheen? Didn't he kill a hooker?

time dwarf

This is pure awesomeness.  Just sayin'.