quoth

This week's crazy quotes:

(After talking about how the snowstorm knocked the internet out and how we have a huge bag of dried dates we don't know what to do with)

Jei: "I want to make cookies."

Jenn: "Can you make cookies with dates in them?"

Jei: "I don't know, I don't have the internet to tell me how.  But I can make other cookies."

Jenn: "Well, the problem is, my stove...."

Jei: "Is it connected to the internet?"

Steve: "Yes, it's an internet oven."

Jei: "I want... to be Canadian.  No.  I meant, I want one of those fritters."

Jenn: "Do you think if I put blood on her dogfood she would like it?"

Jei: "Um, it would depend on where you got the blood."

(She was cooking a steak.)

Steve: "Hey Jenn, what's this really sharp thing you threw away that's ripping holes in the garbage bag?"

Jenn: "It's for killing you."

Steve: "I know that's what it's for, but what is it?"

Jei: "The thing I don't like about oranges is how they leave your hands all orange and weird for the rest of the day after you peel them."

Steve: "You know, they don't stay that way if you actually wash them."

(After torturing niece and nephews by touching the back of their necks with frigidly cold hands from being outside)

Niece 7, to one of her brothers: "Don't let her get you, just RUN!!!"