Textes

Here are some textes that we decided to share with you. Enjoy :)

 To Amanda's phone:

From Amber: I had a dream that you went on a mission. I was sad because you left me for 2 years. And because you took all my fingernail polish.

5-11-10

From Amber: I almost texted Jennell that I miss dating Batman

1-19-11

From Jennell: When you see Amber, poke her for me. Tell her it is a poke of love from me

2-2-11

To Amber's phone:

From Jennell:

Amber is so awesome

Amber is so cool,

anyone who says otherwise is obviously a fool.

She’s a sexy lady

she’s got fantastic hair,

she and David Boreanez

would make quite a pair.

5-4-10

From Jennell:

Happy birthday to a soxy fox!

Hope you get cool things in a box.

Full of mens and pens and moneys.

Hot cars that work and days that are sunny.

Ryan Reynolds and degrees galore,

robots and sexy man maids to do all your chores.

Your amazingness is song enough,

but you are so sweet and yet so tough.

Amber is the awesomest sauce,

she is so sleek and so boss.

I like her lots and wish her well,

and a happy birthday that is way more than super swell!

11-28-10

From Jennell:

Amber, my Amber,

I like her a whole bunch!

She’s finally done with finals and can have some pizza for lunch!

She passed them all with stars galore,

math and insurance are no longer there to bore.

Around Christmastime and sewing and fun she can hover,

because strong bad now says that “it’s over!”

12-16-10

From Jennell (she was in the east coast and so the new year came sooner to her than it did to us): It’s like time travel but not. I am texting you this from a different year than you are in! And a different decade!

12-31-10

Friday night fun

On Friday Serena was sad and I was hungry so we went to 5 Guys Burgers and Fries to stuff ourselves with deliciousness. Amanda and Josh went along too, and so did Vinny in his bear suit coat, which was a great success with the male population of our gathering. In other words, Josh loves the bear suit. Lol. 

After we ate Amanda, and I went home with Serena to check out her new dwelling. Here are some quotes that happened while we (kind of) watched Ondine on the Netflix, but mostly ignored it and chatted/played with the baby.

Serena: He had to go to....jail?

Amanda: There are children there!

Serena: Oh, it must be rehab!

Amber and Amanda: .....?

Serena: Well, he had to go through a gate.

Amanda: He got her out of the water, then they met sardine man, then they got married and he stopped wearing his hat and she wore underpants. The end!

Amber: I....want....justice!

quoth

This week's crazy quotes:

(After talking about how the snowstorm knocked the internet out and how we have a huge bag of dried dates we don't know what to do with)

Jei: "I want to make cookies."

Jenn: "Can you make cookies with dates in them?"

Jei: "I don't know, I don't have the internet to tell me how.  But I can make other cookies."

Jenn: "Well, the problem is, my stove...."

Jei: "Is it connected to the internet?"

Steve: "Yes, it's an internet oven."

Jei: "I want... to be Canadian.  No.  I meant, I want one of those fritters."

Jenn: "Do you think if I put blood on her dogfood she would like it?"

Jei: "Um, it would depend on where you got the blood."

(She was cooking a steak.)

Steve: "Hey Jenn, what's this really sharp thing you threw away that's ripping holes in the garbage bag?"

Jenn: "It's for killing you."

Steve: "I know that's what it's for, but what is it?"

Jei: "The thing I don't like about oranges is how they leave your hands all orange and weird for the rest of the day after you peel them."

Steve: "You know, they don't stay that way if you actually wash them."

(After torturing niece and nephews by touching the back of their necks with frigidly cold hands from being outside)

Niece 7, to one of her brothers: "Don't let her get you, just RUN!!!"

always more

Taking place immediately after the dinner prayer today:
Nephew 9: "Are we having eggs for dinner?"
Grandpa: "No, why do you think we're having eggs?"
Nephew 9: "Because Nana asked to bless the hens that prepared this meal."

Bonus:
Super helpful baking instructions in recipes we have made recently:

 Bread pudding recipe: "You will know it is done because it will jiggle like a thigh, a well-endowed thigh."


Vanilla cake recipe: "When it is ready, it will smell done."

the hilarious things we all say sometimes

These are some fun and exciting quotes that have occurred as of late, for your laughing enjoyment.


Jenn: "Steve doesn't like cross-dressing."

Jenn: "All of us were on our feet working all day, just so we could party.  Why do people party?  It's just a lot of work.  They're crazy!!"

Steve: "Who's the Prince fan back there who is sad that we skipped the Prince song?"
Nephew 9: "It was me!"

Jenn: "Pesto salmon, is weird.  That's what we've learned today."

Jenn: "I need to go home and drink.... water..."

Jenn: "We are sexy dancing people."
Steve: "No exclamation mark at the end?"
Jei: "No. It's just a fact."
Mom: "Of course you are.  Dance on."

Steve: "I can't remember the name of that restaurant, but it's a bit more expensive."
Jei: "Yeah, that's because they actually cook your food."

Jei: "You can keep them around to wear for when you do things where they might break.  Like sports.  All those sports you do.  Your secret sports."
(Me trying to convince Jenn, who plays no sports, that her new glasses she doesn't like will have a good use.)

Jei: "Have you seen Scott Pilgrim vs. the World?"
Amber: "No.  You?"
Jei.  "Yes.  I am in love with it.  Tomorrow I am marrying it, and on Saturday we are having babies.  Little bass playing Canadian babies."
Amber: "Wow, quick gestation period."
Jei: "That's how they do it in Canada."
Amber: "Makes for easier planning, I guess."

(During the middle of dinner.)
Niece 7: "I'm going to take my pants off, right now."
(And she did.)

(He randomly runs up to Jenn, out of the blue)
Nephew 9: "Mom, I was coughing and coughing a lot and coughed so much that I threw up a little bit, so if the floor is kind of slippery, that's why."

Haha

Amber: Look how long my bangs are, I just got my hair cut 2 weeks ago!

Serena: You have fast hair. Crazy fast hair. I bet it would sleep with someone on the first date.

Amber: It would sleep with someone it met on the subway. 

Quote Mania!

These are quotes from a day spent at Bajio, The Chocolate, and etc.  We were all clearly having a lot of fun.

S: "If I were a sea monster, I would be a sea horse!"
A1: "That's not a sea monster!"
S: "A big one!"
A1: "Oh."
J: "A sea horse?  What would be your power? BUBBLES!! *squiggly dance*"
S: "I would kill them with cuteness. Or let them ride my back and then throw them off into the sharp coral."
J: "And then BUBBLES!!" *squiggly dance*


(Summarized and paraphrased for ease of recording, but the basic gist)
J: Someday, A1, I will give you a unicorn.
A1: I don't want a unicorn. I hate unicorns.  They're white.
J: Racist!  But it is a love unicorn!
A1: Maybe only if it is black.  With a silver horn.
J: And it will impale your enemies.  And it will lead you out of the forest.
A1: Why am I in the forest?
J: Well, if you're seeing a unicorn, then you're in the forest!


J (to S): "Did you just say you are going to set her up with my old man?"


J: "You said a sentence, and it reminded me of a sentence I said earlier, which reminded me of a word, and I thought, Why??"


A1 (to A2): "J achieved chicken nirvana while you were gone."


A1: "I wish I could make lime happen to my salad without it happening to my fingers."
S: "I could squeeze your limes for you."
A1: "Don't worry, I won't make you squeeze my limes."
J: "What are you saying about her boobs?"
S: "Well I was mostly thinking it could be a vague body part. Like elbows."
J: "Oh, well, then I can squeeze your limes anytime."


A1: "I have to buy wide-calf boots to accommodate my large calf muscles."
S: "I need that for my ankles. Do they make wide-ankle ones?"
J: "I'm sure those are the same. Cuz they have to start somewhere." (meaning calves)


A2: "Getting out of the car is like being birthed."
A1: "I was thinking the same thing!"
(later on)
A2: "So, if getting out of the car is birth, is getting into the car conception?"


A1: "I want a new shirt.  Maybe if I do my laundry, it will be like I have a new shirt."


J: "There is a little old Scottish man who comes into work and he rides a scooter.  I love him and his amazing accent.  I could be his trophy wife."
S: "But then he would want to love you.  That's why they have little blue pills."
J: "And I would replace those little blue pills with vitamins."
S: "And he would say, 'Well I can't seem to stay up, but I sure feel great!'"